Asura vs Falco can only spell one thing! Trouble!
by Shadow R-B
Summary: Totally dedicated to Papersak! Crackfic of sorts oneshot. BRING A PAPER BAG IN CASE YOU NEED TO BREATH, AS A WARNING. Based off the 'Asura and Falco; best cracfic pair ever' quote.


Pat: I suppose this is a Crackfic of sorts. TOTALLY DEDICATED TO YOU, PAPERSAK! You rule!

Only if you've read Skye's story, then Shou's, THEN Zakura's will you get this.

THE SERIES IS DISCONTINUED FOR A REASON, YA KNOW!

Aw… I was hoping this would be my thirtieth fic, but it's my thirty-first fic. Hey, THAT'S GOOD!

On to da fic!

Disclaimer: I'm sad to admit SSBB isn't mine. Who isn't? (Grin) Only Asura-chan is mine. Oh, and her full name will never be mentioned again. Only her nickname (Asu), shortened name (Asura), or her status name (Asura-chan).

Since Papersak is the only one who'll read this, seeing as it's dedicated to her, Asura, in SSBB, is female, but in Pokemon Pearl, Diamond or Platinum, Asura's a boy. In the Poke-world, her adventures compelled his parents to name him after his grandmother.

ENOUGH TALKING! ON TO DA CRAZIES!

* * *

From Asura-chan's POV:

Today is gonna be so fun! I'm versus Falco! And, Fox-San and Wolf will be cheering for us! Yay!

Ever since being released from the Asura sword seal, I've had a hard time fitting in anywhere I went. Always glares sent my way, as if they knew...

When I met Falco, Fox, and Wolf, I must admit, I was overwhelmed.  
Wolf was a huge wolf. I was a tiny jackal. I honestly thought he'd kill me whenever I turned my back. Call it instinct, whatever you want to do with that tidbit. (Grabs a frying pan: WARNING!)  
Fox was so kawaii! I think I might be crushing over him a bit, but no. He's a fox, and I'm a jackal. Natural enemies. I suppose it depends on our status on the food chain. Poor Fox-San...  
Falco. He's different from the other two. For one, he's a bird. Cocky little thing, he is. I swear, he must've been a peacock in a past life!  
But, despite that, he's really nice. Arrogant at times, sure, but he's just displaying... Hormones. I really don't know. I'd say he's trying to impress someone, but there's no other bird or sorts in the Mansion.

Is he gay?

Nah. He isn't the type for that. Marth and Ike are a cute couple, hai, but I can't imagine Falco like that...  
Dear lord, I'm not crushing on him, am I?  
That it, isn't it?  
Crap.  
Nonono! I like him, hai, he's kind, brave, and his feathers are so soft...  
Urk! That sounded so wrong!  
Just check someone else's point of view, why don't you?!

* * *

Seriously. Shoo.

* * *

As the being that has the power of being reborn, I command you to leave!  
... When you die, you'll be turned into a fly, which gets squashed to death a million times! I'll do it!! I swear I will!  
There, there's a Normal POV! Go check it out!  
Or Falco-koi's... Crap! Nonono!  
You will pay!

* * *

Falco's POV (against our better judgment):

Hm? Geez, WALK IN ON SOMEONE WHEN HE'S CHANGING, WHY DON'T YOU?!  
Go bug Asura or something!

* * *

Asura's POV:

... GET OUT!

* * *

Normal POV (finally!):

Um? Hiya! I'm Normal Point Overview! Nice to meet you!

* * *

(Wrong POV!!)

* * *

Real Normal POV:

It was a cold day over at the Smash Brothers Mansion. Snow and ice covered every battle area, making it much harder to battle efficiently.  
Though, a few...  
Jigglypiff (AN: Spelling error, sure, but I'm too lazy to correct it. I think I'll spell her name like this all the time now! Grin) hummed, floating in the freezing air, Kirby and King Dedede beside her. Even Meta Knight was enjoying the weather, though much more discreetly than the balloons beside him.  
His eyes were pink!  
Back to the main program... What the-? Get offa me!

* * *

(Technical difficulties with Normal POVs, please annoy Asura!)

* * *

Asura's murderous POV:

WAUGH! GET OUT! WALK IN ON A GIRL CHANGING, WHY DON'T YOU?! (Throws the frying pan)

* * *

(Thank you for taking one for the team. Enjoy your POV, and please continue using Points-Of-Views-Are-Us.)

* * *

Normal POV:

Resuming!

Asura strode down the snowy streets, shivering a bit, a murderous look on her face.

"Will you stop being so dramatic?!" she screamed, Diddy Kong falling out of his little safe zone in the tree.

The author promptly ignored him.

So did the readers.

Urk! We-we-We're switching POVs. NOW.

* * *

Asura's POV:

Damn Normal Overview, she's always so damn dramatic.

On with ma fic!

AND DON'T SAY A WORD, OVERVIEW, OR I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD!

Ahem.

Alright. This is it. The moment we've all been waiting for. (Especially me. GRINNAGE!)

The battle versus Falco!

Agh… So cold!

Overview, you take over!

And, wipe that smirk off your face!

* * *

Normal POV:

Asura emerged out of nowhere, holding her blood red sword, which bore her nickname, out, doing a few fancy slashes midair. Falco whistled.

"Fancy sword. Nice to see it finally bent to your will." Falco commented, Asura coloring a bit.

"Aw… Thanks, Falco!" Asura gushed, trying to hide her smirk.

Almost everyone had a little schoolgirl in them, waiting to be released, and scream out their deepest secrets at the top of a tower.

Asura's had chosen today in specific.

But, her sword held her back, with its sealing powers. (AN: Like in Inuyasha, if you've seen it, his Tetsusaiga keeps his demon blood back. Both are murderous. –By both, the schoolgirl and the demon is what I'm referring to.-)

Lucky Asu.

Falco spread his wings, grinning.

Asura nearly swooned, but kept a hold on her emotions.

"Well, Asu? C'mon, try and nail me! I've gotten way better in Brawling than when we last battled! Try it!" Falco taunted, Asura smirking.

In a dark flash of dark energy, she disappeared, Falco, and the spectators, which included Fox and Wolf, gasping in surprise.

"_Hehehehe… I've grown much since then, too, Falco…_" Asura hissed, appearing behind Falco, and sucker punching him, said bird squawking in surprise.

* * *

Fox groaned, handing Wolf ten bucks.

Wolf grinned.

* * *

Asura suddenly reappeared in the spot she'd occupied beforehand, smirking. Falco just stood there, a wing over his thumping heart.

"Geez, give me a heart attack, why don'cha?" Falco murmured, panting. Asura smirked, tail wagging rapidly.

"That was a Shadow move. Since I'm half-mystic, I can learn a whole bunch of moves! That was Girantina's special move, Shadow Force! Scared the crap outta ya, didn't it?" Asura teased, Falco flushing.

"Er, yeah, no. It didn't." he said stiffly, trying to fight the blush trying to crawl up his muzzle.

Asura was acting a bit peculiar today…

Falco feared asking her if she had PMS. Because, really, every smart guy learned not to ask ANY girl that particular question.

Look at Fox. He learned it the hard way.

Asura grinned.

"Yes it did." She mocked, Falco twitching.

Oh, so it was one of THOSE days.

The 'hyper-for-no-apparent-reason' kinda day.

Crap.

"No it didn't." Falco said, thinking, 'If I had one wish, it'd be for me to never have had the ability to blush.'

"Yes it did." Asura said again, grinning. Falco twitched again.

"No, it didn't."

"Yes it did."

"No it DID-N'T!"

"Yes it DI-ID!"

"No it-"

"OKAY! Is this a tournament, or a 'slap-each-other-in-the-face' comp?" Crazy Hand yelled, surprising everyone.

* * *

Wolf sighed, handing Fox a twenty, said vulpine whooping, earning glares from everyone else there. Including Wolf.

* * *

Asura huffed, doing little feeble slaps at the Hand's pinky, which returned her feeble slaps, waving wildly. (AN: You know, like your hands are motors? Or, just trying to whap a fly.)

Crazy Hand's eyes (AN: Imagine him with two eyes on his index finger knuckle and the ring finger. XD) drifted slowly, like a shark's would its prey, towards his flailing limb (AN: I don't know, you tell me! He's a freakin' HAND.) and the colorful half-mystic Lucario, his eyelids drooping a bit.

"Hey!" he yelled, his ring finger slapping down his pinky. It sighed, resuming it's floating… Antics.

Everyone's reaction was basically a blink.

"Now, no more taunts, OR ELSE!" he bellowed, trying to sound mighty, like Master Hand, but failing. He sounded like he had been on helium! (AN: I'm dying here! Hahaha!)

Asura sighed, shaking her head.

"Nah, I don't wanna brawl now." Asura said, Crazy looking at her.

"What?"

"I wanna do a slap fight with Falco! Sounds fun!" she squealed, Falco blinking, doing nothing else out of shock.

'Er... When did I argree to this?' he wondered, eyes wide.

* * *

Half the crowd groaned, handing the person beside them a large amount on money.

Fox included.

Wolf was grinning like a Cheshire cat by the end of the 'battle'.

* * *

Pat: I think this is my favourite story outta all the crackfics and oneshots I've written! And that's kinda a lot.

I really hoped you liked it, Papersak, and those who sat long enough to see it! (And, that's not many; I can sense this.)

Papersak, this was based off your "Asura X Falco: Best crackfic ever!" quote in a review. (Grin) So now, I leave you to review, and possibly favorite this story down.

My best oneshot crackfic! (Hugs Asura to near death)

Asu: Review, before she kills me!


End file.
